Forgiveness: The Key to Freedom

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"

Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness can feel like a mountain too steep to climb, especially when you're carrying the weight of heartbreak, betrayal, or unresolved pain. After a relationship ends, particularly when it ends in conflict or silence, the idea of forgiving can feel like letting someone off the hook. But what if forgiveness wasn’t about them at all?

What if forgiveness is the key to your freedom?

Understanding What Forgiveness Is (and Is not)

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It isn’t forgetting. It isn’t condoning the pain someone caused. It doesn’t mean you have to welcome someone back into your life.

Forgiveness is releasing the power that pain holds over you.

It’s saying:

• I will no longer carry this anger as armour.

• I will not let this wound define my future.

• I choose peace over resentment.

Forgiveness is choosing your healing over holding onto hurt.

Why Forgiveness Matters for Your Healing

When you hold onto anger, bitterness, or even hatred, it doesn’t just affect your thoughts. It impacts your body, your sleep, your ability to trust, and your sense of joy. Holding onto past hurts creates emotional congestion that blocks new life from flowing in.

Here’s what forgiveness offers you:

• Relief from emotional exhaustion

• A calmer nervous system and improved health

• Clarity about what truly matters

• The ability to reclaim your voice and values

• Room for joy and trust to grow again

You don’t forgive because someone deserves it. You forgive because you deserve to be free.

 The Slow, Gentle Work of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a one-time event. It is a process. Sometimes we think we’ve forgiven, only to feel that same ache resurfaces months later. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human.

Here are some steps you can take on your forgiveness journey:

1. Name the Hurt

   Acknowledge what was done and how it made you feel. Be honest and specific. You can’t heal what you don’t name.

   
   

2. Feel the Feelings

   Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, betrayal. These emotions are valid and need expression before they can be released.

   
   

3. Decide to Forgive

   This doesn’t mean you are okay with what happened. It means you are ready to stop letting it hold power over your life.

   
   

4. Speak It or Write It

   Journal a letter of forgiveness - whether you send it or not. Speak aloud: "I choose to forgive you, and I release you from my judgment."

   
   

5. Forgive Yourself Too

   This is often the hardest part. You may blame yourself for staying too long, not seeing the signs, or not fighting harder. Let it go. You did the best you could with what you knew then.

A Courageous Act of Power

Forgiveness is not weakness. It is power. It is the quiet revolution that says, “My peace matters more than my pain.”  It is the courageous act of taking your story back from the hands of someone who hurt you.

Whether you forgive silently, in prayer, or out loud, know this: every step toward forgiveness is a step toward freedom.

Reflective Prompts:

Take some time to journal on the following:

• Who do I need to forgive, and why?

• What have I been carrying that no longer serves me?

• What would my life feel like if I truly let this go?

• How can I begin to show compassion to myself?

You Are Not Alone

At Restore to Soar, we walk this road of forgiveness together. Whether you are at the beginning of this journey or somewhere in the middle, you are not alone.

Forgiveness is not about forgetting the past. It is about choosing a future that isn’t shackled to it.

You were not made to stay grounded. You were made to soar.

Stay tuned for our next post in the series: "Reclaiming Identity After Loss."